Even if their reaction was to silently back out of a room or never discuss it at all, that can still speak volumes: Kids need to hear that it’s OK to explore their own bodies. One of the reasons why it’s so tricky, says Marnie Goldenberg, a sexual-health educator in Vancouver, is that “no one had that conversation with us!” Think back to your own experiences of your parents’ discovery of your self-discovery and, chances are, a hot flush will probably still creep up your neck. We may think we’ve come a long way from the days of masturbation shaming (just think of the old myths that desperate parents have parroted over the years to get kids to stop touching themselves: blindness, curved spines, hairy palms!), but the truth is, having the talk with kids isn’t easy. “I was torn between telling myself that this is totally normal and just…oh my God! What do I say?” “I had no idea that she had started doing that!” she says. Recalling that drive home a few years later, Taylor remembers feeling mostly shocked. “Thanks for letting me know!” she said, racing out the door. “Ah!” said Taylor, completely caught by surprise. “Oh, just an FYI,” said the kindly daycare provider nonchalantly, “Sophie has been spending quite a lot of naptime touching herself.” When Amanda Taylor* arrived at daycare, she was breathless and wholly unprepared for the day’s report on her three-year-old daughter.
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